silence is evil. but happiness is louder

I dont sit for too long , only because when I do , I think.  My life is so complicated that when I sit and I really think about it I go quiet and I get into a state of emotion where I dont want to do anything and I dont want to even move off my couch. This summer ive had many encounters of random and suckish things, like for one my dad now has a new girlfriend and she has kids, went and visited him and he talked about disciplining them , in my mind im saying what the hell ! you should be disciplining me and i know for a fact that most teens would like hell yeah no shit from him , but really? common we all need our daddy. My mother and i have faught quite abit , cause i feel like she should trust me more than she had trusted me , and it kills me everytime we fight, were all we got and everything we ever will have. My mother and i have a bond that could not be ripped apart with nor a chainsaw or another human soul. She is my bestfriend she knows things about me i dont even know and things im just starting to figure about myself. My ex boyfriend curtis, and i broke up we pretty much faught all of august ,things just werent the same anymore, and i needed my space. So somewhere between all of this i became depressed, although i didnt know it i was. i layed on my couch for 3 days and didnt move off of it unless i had to pee , and i barely ate. people say that is when you hit rock bottom , for me that was an eye opener, you can sit and be lonely and be pissed off at the world for everything that has happend or you can look into the future and care about yourself and nothing else, .